When you go will you send back, a letter from America? Take a look up the railtrack, from Miami to Canada.
How apt, as it turns out, were The Proclaimers' lyrics for what the Tartan Army will be getting up to next summer?
Scotland qualify for 2026 FIFA World Cup in dramatic finale
It was unbelievable because never has the collective performance of a football team on the night been more at odds with the quality of goals scored.
World Cup qualifying reminded football fans why they tolerate the international break last weekend when Troy Parrott's 96th minute hat-trick goal secured the Republic of Ireland's place in the UEFA play-off section.
Needing a win over the group's top seed Denmark in their final qualifier, Scotland couldn't go one better, could they?
The night began with Scott McTominay's most audacious overhead kick, connecting with Ben Gannon-Doak's dinked cross eight feet in the air, steering the ball beyond the roundly booed Kasper Schmeichel in the Danish net.
When Zinedine Zidane scored a quite sublime volley at the same Hampden end for Real Madrid during the 2002 Champions League Final, he probably thought that was job done - nobody is scoring a better goal than that on this ground. Wrong, Zizou. You didn't count on McBro, which is the literal translation of Napoli fans' 'McFratm' moniker they've bestowed upon the midfielder who placed 18th in the 2025 Ballon d'Or rankings. What a sentence, by the way.
You get the feeling it was the kind of goal that Scottish football legend Diego Maradona would have been proud to score. Whatever has happened to McTominay in Naples, whether it be the diet, the Tyrrhenian lifestyle or a sprinkling of Maradona's magic finding its way into his boots, Scotland is grateful.
'Glorious failure' is a phrase that has become intimately intertwined with the Scottish national team. It initially described the holding pattern Scotland found themselves in, qualifying for major tournaments but never achieving, despite valiant efforts, once at their destination.
For a country of five million people, Scotland have never made it past the group stage of a World Cup, winning four of their 23 such encounters at the Finals.
More recently, 'glorious failure' came to take on a different meaning: almost qualifying for major tournaments between 1998 and 2020 but never quite making it.
Third in the qualifying group they finished for the 2002 Finals, followed by third again in 2006, having been held to a 1-1 draw by Moldova and failing to beat Belarus twice.
Scotland's 2010 qualifying campaign never got going, in part due to the media storm about 'Boozegate' in which a number of players were found to have had a wee swallie and broken curfew ahead of crucial qualifiers.
The Tartan Army never looked like booking their place at Brazil 2014, either, certainly not after failing to win any of their opening six qualifying matches, followed by - you guessed it - glorious failure, winning three of their last four.
2018 was the closest Scotland had come in the modern era, but a 1-1 draw with Lithuania during the early stages of qualifying ultimately proved costly as Gordon Strachan's side finished level on points with second place Slovakia in the group.
A win against Lithuania, or England at Hampden after a pair of Leigh Griffiths free-kicks put Scotland 2-1 up, only to see Harry Kane score a stoppage time equaliser, or in their final qualifier away to Slovenia, would have booked the Tartan Army a spot in the play-offs. They settled for third, again.
Scotland went one better ahead of Qatar 2022, actually making the play-offs this time after a stellar campaign which included wins over Denmark and Austria. Seeded in the play-off semi-final against Ukraine, Steve Clarke's side had the benefit of home advantage but were beaten, as per the script.
So, when Scotland's bright spark Doak was stretchered off 20 minutes into the contest with Denmark on Tuesday night, and replaced by 33-year-old defensive midfielder Kenny McLean, there was an air of inevitability.
Faced with the Dane's superiority on the ball, Scotland - cosplaying as 11th Century ruler Malcolm II - relented and conceded to Rasmus Hojlund's spot-kick just before the hour mark. Only a win would do and Scotland couldn't get up the pitch, never mind have a pop at Schmeichel's goal.
From minute three to minute 62, the match was a miserable affair, punctuated by wave after wave of Denmark attacks, until Rasmus Kristensen's expulsion for a second yellow card offence, that is.
Clarke responded by throwing on strikers Che Adams and Lawrence Shankland for the 11-man Scots but the complexion of the game didn't turn all that much, partly due to Denmark responding inversely, by introducing 6ft 7in central defender Jannik Vestergaard for Mikkel Damsgaard.
If Scotland were going to qualify for the World Cup, they were going to have to win ugly.
A whipped Lewis Ferguson delivery from a 78th minute corner renewed Tartan hope as Shankland poked in a second. Quite how Scotland had managed to find the net for a second time in this game was beyond belief given the quality of their attacking play, but it was something to protect once more.
But in accordance with the principles of glorious failure, Patrick Dorgu levelled three minutes later. Two-two on the scoreboard, 10 minutes remaining and five million people crowded around their television screens, some upstanding, others barely able to watch.
Then, halfway into second half stoppage time, it happened. Running onto the ball 25 yards from goal, Kieran Tierney - a man with one prior international goal which came in a friendly, and would ordinarily have twice as many caps if not for rotten luck with injuries - curled Scotland's clincher into the far corner. Bedlam.
Two goals of the highest order on one of Scotland's biggest nights. I quite like this new scriptwriter.
A nation's blood pressure through the roof. See. It. Out. Referee Szymon Marciniak played a minute additional to his initially prescribed six, then signalled he'd be playing another on top of that. Corners. Hjulmand's got it, he's given it away. CORNERS, KENNY.
As it turned out, McLean's substitution on the 20th minute was a masterstroke. Because only a man who's stood on the balcony of Norwich City Town Hall, declared himself mayor and donned the councilman's hat whilst holding a bottle of fortified wine, would have the brass b*llocks to shoot from the centre circle. Have that, Patrik Schick, nobody will remember your halfway-liner now.
Three of the most outrageous goals ever scored in a Scotland shirt and World Cup qualification delivered from the brink of yet more glorious failure. TAPS AFF.
From Wester Ross to Nova Scotia, Canada, the United States and Mexico, the Tartan Army will be there in their droves.
Moldova, no more. Belarus, no more. Lithuania, no more. Glorious failure, no more.
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