EmailPrintOpen Extended ReactionsThis past December, the University of Michigan hired the law firm Jenner & Block to look into the culture of its athletic department which, of late, has proved simultaneously flush with championships, revenue and scandals.The firm spent about six months conducting 350 interviews, chasing down about 90 calls to a tip line and analyzing more than 20,000 pages of documents. The bill is already approaching $12 million.The focus was nearly a decade of events: numerous NCAA investigations, a $30 million fine, a lengthy probation, federal cybercrime charges for one former assistant football coach, a Netflix doc starring a former staff member accused of sign stealing, multiple suspensions for one former head coach and, of course, the memorable image of another former head coach sitting dejectedly in jailhouse garb after he was accused of felony home invasion.And that's a partial list.Common sense suggests that the price tag, scope and breadth of such an investigation would, by definition, suggest problems that could reasonably be called ... widespread.As in, how much more widespread could it get? Michigan has, of late, been a never-ending, national-championship-winning soap opera.Well, Jenner & Block concluded the opposite, according to a PR statement that outlined the investigation. "Neither the investigation nor the culture review found that misconduct was widespread throughout the department," the statement says.The actual report (if it even exists) will not be released, the school said, citing the need to protect the privacy of those who participated as well as attorney-client privilege.Apparently, $12 million allows you to redefine "widespread."That said, even as the report found no overarching plot, the school announced that athletic director Warde Manuel would be leaving, anyway, at the end of the year, and with a healthy buyout in the millions of dollars. (The 58-year-old's contract runs through 2030 with an annual compensation of nearly $2.4 million.)So if there isn't a widespread problem, why the need for a new athletic director? Or rather, if a new athletic director is necessary, why wait until the end of the year?Or ... well, whatever. The whole point here is to go in circles; this investigation was really just a strange waste of money.The university was under no obligation to commission an investigation, let alone one that proved both costly and comical. They chose this. No one really cared what they found, other than rival fans who naively hoped for a smoking gun. To those paying attention, Michigan's scandals were numerous, but largely unrelated, the product of reckless individual choices.If the goal was to oust Manuel, the school could have paid him out for less than the cost of this report. Manuel, through his successes and mistakes, might not be the most diligent monitor, but anyone who knows him would find him unlikely to lead some grand conspiracy.Mostly all the investigation did was buy Michigan more scorn and suspicion through nebulous findings.The report summary, for example, said investigators found "weaknesses in accountability, organizational structure, oversight, and reporting" which in turn, "created conditions in which misconduct was not always addressed consistently, promptly, or in accordance with University expectations."That's some serious bureaucratic gibberish. The solution?Michigan pinky swears it will "strengthen the independence, visibility, and authority of its compliance function to reinforce institutional accountability," according to the summary.This is the long way of saying Michigan hopes coaches will stop sleeping with the staff, allegedly hacking into computer accounts of women athletes, recruiting during dead periods or showing up in disguise on the Central Michigan sideline.But if they do any of those things, well, the school is committed to noticing sooner.They could have run this through ChatGPT, saved the eight figures and promised to attack each day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. Same difference, except for the lake houses they bought some Chicago attorneys.The path forward for Michigan is actually quite simple. Manuel laid it out in December when he hired the replacement for Sherrone Moore, he of the aforementioned inappropriate relationship with a staff member and Washtenaw County jail fame.Hire a Kyle Whittingham-type for the corner office.Harbaugh and Moore are gone. Manuel is on the way out. A new president will be hired soon. National championship basketball coach Dusty May left for the NBA.That leaves the freshly arrived Whittingham, the ultimate adult in the room for a school with a Big House, as the face of Michigan. He is a 68-year-old Mormon who since 1983 has been married to the girl who grew up four doors down the street from him.For 22 seasons, Whittingham delivered not just winning teams at Utah, but a model program that avoided significant issues (at least as much as is possible in major college athletics).Never say never, of course, but if there were one coach you'd say never about, it's Whittingham. Unless the NCAA bans riding Harleys and doing pushups, Michigan might finally be free from embarrassment.And that's the point. You don't need to take risks in Ann Arbor; such as Manuel trusting Moore with a job he clearly wasn't mature enough to handle.When you have this much money and power, you can play it safe. NCAA penalties are meaningless to the football team -- the talent keeps arriving. Bad PR is irrelevant to the school -- it got 115,000 applications last year.Michigan is just going to be Michigan. Hire a straight-arrow AD to match the straight-arrow football coach and they probably can't screw this up.Even if they do, the school can always pay some law firm to say it wasn't a big deal.
