It feels weird to come up with only a few words to describe WCW Halloween Havoc 1995, especially since I will likely spend thousands of words describing it in this upcoming article. But if I could sum it up in just a few words, I would do so by quoting Hulk Hogan from this show, right after the first of two matches he had this evening. "Oh no!"
If, for some reason, you have never seen Halloween Havoc 1995 before, I pity you, because everyone deserves to see something as gloriously bad as this show once in your life. It is a near three hour show with one-all time great angle and one pretty good match sandwiched in between one of the most unmemorable cards in history and not one, but two hilarious trainwrecks that have spawned memes, popular Tony Schiavone soundbites, and arguably the only wrestling moment in history my mother has actually enjoyed. I could quite frankly spend the rest of my life talking about this show, as many of my co-workers can attest to. But for now, you'll just have to settle for three things I loved about Halloween Havoc 1995, and three things I (loved) to hate.
In terms of actual work rate, the opening match of this PPV might actually be the best wrestled match on this card. Is that saying much? As you will learn very quickly, no, not really. But while Johnny vs. DDP may have its flaws (it's a bit too long, Max Muscle is WAY too involved, the finish is atrocious), the bulk of it is a ton of fun. And why wouldn't it be with these two performers? DDP may have still been a few years away from really taking off, but he shows serious chops as an arrogant heel, and Johnny B. Badd, who most fans may remember as Marc Mero from WWE, almost comes off as revolutionary with some of his high flying. Is the gimmick silly? Yes. Is his theme song as unintentionally funny as some of the other stuff on this show? Almost! Either way, this is an opener that did its job, one of only two things on the show to do its job effectively.
The best way to describe the undercard of this show, post-Johnny vs. DDP, is with a Brian Griffin "Family Guy" quote; "Nothing's happening, nothing's happening...and it's over. A lot of people in the audience look p****d." To call matches 2-4 a complete void would be an insult to voids; these three matches (Randy Savage vs. The Zodiac, Road Warrior Hawk vs. Kurosawa and Sabu vs. Mr. JL) go a combined seven minutes and ten seconds, never allowing them to get into a gear, let alone first gear. They also don't have a lot going on for them. Sure, Kurosawa injured Hawk's arm in the past, and sure, Sabu's uncle The Sheik (a Detroit wrestling legend) is at ringside, but the matches are so short that Kurosawa had no time to work the arm, and Sheik's only contribution is a poorly thrown fireball after the match. It all feels like filler, except if the filler was missing filler!
The only meat, if you can call it that, during this period comes from Savage and Lex Luger; Savage had been distrustful of Luger's intentions going into the show, prompting WCW to book Savage vs. Zodiac and Luger vs. Meng, setting up a Savage vs. Luger match later on the show if both men win. Both men did; whether anyone cared though is a different story, as Savage's match was, as I just pointed out, super quick, while Luger's lengthy match with Meng was uneventful, and ended with Meng having Luger beat before Meng's Dungeon of Doom stablemate Kevin Sullivan booted Luger for a DQ. Perhaps it was that, or perhaps it was because of what it followed, that the Savage vs. Luger match itself felt dead, at least up till Savage beat Luger in a little under five in a half minutes after Luger collided with Jimmy Hart. The Luger-Savage-Hart-Sullivan stuff would rear its head again later in the show, so I suppose it has that working for it. But the build up to the match doesn't work at all, and the rest of the undercard is such a nothing that it would make this show a complete bore if not for the stuff coming up.
I know what you're thinking; Ric Flair turning on Sting can't be that memorable, given that he did it over 9,000 times during their careers. I assure you though, this turn is among the best of the bunch. The story in the months leading up to Halloween Havoc saw Flair feuding with Four Horsemen stablemate Arn Anderson, with Anderson turning to Brian Pillman for reinforcement while Flair turned to Sting. Sting, aware that Flair had betrayed him all these times before, was hesitant, but eventually agreed, leading to Flair/Sting vs. Anderson/Pillman being booked for this show.
Before it began, however, Flair was attacked, leading to Sting taking on Anderson and Pillman by himself before Flair came to ringside like a house of fire. It took a bit, but an exhausted Sting finally made the tag...and Flair immediately turned on him, revealing the whole thing had been a ruse just to get one over on Sting yet again. I suppose some of this wouldn't hold up under close scrutiny, but who cares; there is genuine energy to the match and angle that is lacking from the rest of the show, and the turn comes off as shocking despite the fact that we all could've seen it coming. It is a truly tremendous angle and easily the best thing on the show. Fittingly, everything from this point forward careens off the cliff, in some cases literally!
It remains one of the most ridiculous concepts in wrestling history, no matter how much Eric Bischoff tries to defend the idea of it. A Sumo Monster Truck match? Surely, when it comes to unintentional comedy moments in wrestling, this has to take the cake. As it turns out, it's the least interesting thing involving Hogan and The Giant on this show. While monster trucks and wrestling sound like a bad combination, it's even worse than you think, especially when the trucks have to be welded together to make sure nothing stupendously dangerous occurs. As a result, the Hogan vs. Giant Monster Truck extravaganza is five minutes of these trucks doing very little, all while Bischoff squawks like a banshee at the booth. You'd expect this to be bad; you would not expect this to be a total bore.
If the Monster Truck match itself was a snoozefest, the immediate aftermath is among the funniest moments you will ever see. That's because The Giant, furious at having his monster truck pushed back by Hogan's, gets out of the truck and chases Hogan to the edge of the roof. There is a struggle, there is a tease of Giant treeslamming Hogan to his impending demise, and then yes, there is Hogan pushing Giant off and Giant waving his arms like he's in a Looney Tunes cartoon before plunging off the roof. Some may find that the funniest moment, some might find Bischoff screaming in the hammiest way imaginable, but I personally believe it's all topped by Hogan's "Oh no!" I'm laughing just thinking about it right now!
Either way, does it really matter what's the funniest part when it's all (unintentional) gold? The amazing thing is it gets even funnier after, as Bobby Heenan, playing it straight on commentary, tries to sell the thing as a massive tragedy, all while Tony Schiavone acts like he knows the whole thing is a complete boondaggle. And it all just makes it even funnier! I have no unearthly idea what anyone was thinking with the Monster Truck match to begin with, and I have even less idea of what they were going with by having Giant fall off the roof, especially since he returns unscathed minutes later. The best guess I have is that they thought Giant falling off the roof and surviving would make him come off as completely indestructible. But the whole thing is so "Plan 9 From Outer Space" that if it was the intent, it didn't work. But again, it doesn't matter. Of all the stupid wrestling things I've encountered in my travels, this one makes me smile the most. Is it ironic love? Sure. But it's still love.
Amazingly, all of that above was the prelude to this match for the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. And to be honest, some of what happens here is just as funny as The Giant's rooftop plunge. The one difference is that plunge and the aftermath is just a few minutes; this match is seventeen minutes long, and while Giant shows a lot of athleticism and pop for a guy his size, it's still his first match ever with a limited Hulk Hogan. It is not a fun seventeen minutes before Jimmy Hart suddenly turns on Hogan by attacking the referee, giving Giant the win and the WCW Title, even though no one would know this for a week (and then Giant immediately vacated it, making the whole thing even more pointless).
The real tomfoolery occurs after the Hart turn though. You get the rest of the Dungeon of Doom running out to attack Hogan. You get Savage trying to save his buddy. You have Luger becoming the third guy to turn heel on this show, joining up with the Dungeon of Doom. And yes, you get The Yeti, or as Schiavone would say, THE YETAY, and that infamous spot where Giant and Yeti decided to give Hogan a double bearhug, launching a thousand lude jokes and ruining Ron Reis' career before it even began. There's a very strong argument that this match, and its post-match, are the worst piece of business to ever take place within a wrestling ring. Personally, I hate it...and love it. Quite frankly, I hate how much I love it. It's the number one wrestling moment I love to hate. Don't judge me too harshly.
